4/5/23

POEM - Sustained Solar Cycle

1: I am a cake-soiled smile, and

the happiest Mommy will ever be

2: I am the curly-haired son of

a low-rent Tony Soprano

3: I am traumatized by pain, and

too quickly learned in pleasure

4: I am a fire-starter who’s already

heard too much of music and murder

5: I am brushing teeth with my fingers,

and wetting the bed to avoid

that clown in the window

6: I am smitten with a sensitive soul

who’ll wait 20 years to discard me

7: I am fishing with loaded guns,

and a brother for the 4th time

8: I am the educated trouble

no one seems to see coming

9: I am part of a community,

and we could disappear you

10: I am a calm checkmate

for all of those more kissable than myself

11: I am deeply grieving reflection,

and born again in the arts

12: I am withdrawing further into

a body I can’t stand owning

13: I am bottle-bent, and little more

than words on paper

14: I am songs always sung

from the top of my lonely lungs

15: I am Pink Floyd found, and

subsisting on all-night conversations

16: I am finally feeling that firework

of love-at-first-sight

17: I am thinner by the minute, and

only a phone call away

18: I am (for the time being)

my guitar’s only lover

19: I am a bird, not ready to burn,

and she is water, walking away

from my ashes

20: I am starry-eyed sex in

the windiest parts of those lake bottoms

21: I am a drink on the clock, and

a seizure on your satin sheets

22: I am befriending fireflies

while the mouths of strangers taste me

23: I am picking the movies, and

she is picking the positions

24: I am a mess of tainted emotions

with a soulmate to disappoint

25: I am putting on a daily suit, and

shopping for Christmas decorations

26: I am quietly crying my wasted wishes

into a bottle of Boston Lager

27: I am dropping the guac, and

far-more-than fingering the devil’s candy

28: I am sending her flowers

(on my birthday) from 1,800 miles away

29: I am trailer trash in the suburbs, and

finding myself, a married man

30: I am carrying the broken spirit

inside of me back home

31: I am staring at the skin within

your boudoir, and thinking of getting

my shit together

32: I am Billy Paul dreaming of dancing

in the dark with Miss Sweeney

33: I am surrounded by half-hearted

people, and forever one bad day away

from killing myself

34: I am Humpty Dumpty before the fall

from the moment that infant looks

out at the world with uncertain eyes

35: I am now more than myself, and

a man of 151,000 words

36: I am introductory apologies

as I struggle to breathe with one hand

on my grandmother’s grave

37: I am swaddling sunshine, and

christening The Nightlight Lodge

38: I am discovering that it’s okay

if love ultimately asks for more

than I have to give


And the rest

— assuming there’s

anything left —

will just have to wait

until tomorrow is born

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