1: I am a cake-soiled smile, and
the happiest Mommy will ever be
2: I am the curly-haired son of
a low-rent Tony Soprano
3: I am traumatized by pain, and
too quickly learned in pleasure
4: I am a fire-starter who’s already
heard too much of music and murder
5: I am brushing teeth with my fingers,
and wetting the bed to avoid
that clown in the window
6: I am smitten with a sensitive soul
who’ll wait 20 years to discard me
7: I am fishing with loaded guns,
and a brother for the 4th time
8: I am the educated trouble
no one seems to see coming
9: I am part of a community,
and we could disappear you
10: I am a calm checkmate
for all of those more kissable than myself
11: I am deeply grieving reflection,
and born again in the arts
12: I am withdrawing further into
a body I can’t stand owning
13: I am bottle-bent, and little more
than words on paper
14: I am songs always sung
from the top of my lonely lungs
15: I am Pink Floyd found, and
subsisting on all-night conversations
16: I am finally feeling that firework
of love-at-first-sight
17: I am thinner by the minute, and
only a phone call away
18: I am (for the time being)
my guitar’s only lover
19: I am a bird, not ready to burn,
and she is water, walking away
from my ashes
20: I am starry-eyed sex in
the windiest parts of those lake bottoms
21: I am a drink on the clock, and
a seizure on your satin sheets
22: I am befriending fireflies
while the mouths of strangers taste me
23: I am picking the movies, and
she is picking the positions
24: I am a mess of tainted emotions
with a soulmate to disappoint
25: I am putting on a daily suit, and
shopping for Christmas decorations
26: I am quietly crying my wasted wishes
into a bottle of Boston Lager
27: I am dropping the guac, and
far-more-than fingering the devil’s candy
28: I am sending her flowers
(on my birthday) from 1,800 miles away
29: I am trailer trash in the suburbs, and
finding myself, a married man
30: I am carrying the broken spirit
inside of me back home
31: I am staring at the skin within
your boudoir, and thinking of getting
my shit together
32: I am Billy Paul dreaming of dancing
in the dark with Miss Sweeney
33: I am surrounded by half-hearted
people, and forever one bad day away
from killing myself
34: I am Humpty Dumpty before the fall
from the moment that infant looks
out at the world with uncertain eyes
35: I am now more than myself, and
a man of 151,000 words
36: I am introductory apologies
as I struggle to breathe with one hand
on my grandmother’s grave
37: I am swaddling sunshine, and
christening The Nightlight Lodge
38: I am discovering that it’s okay
if love ultimately asks for more
than I have to give
And the rest
— assuming there’s
anything left —
will just have to wait
until tomorrow is born
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